It has occurred to me numerous times. But I didn’t realize its severity and poignancy until now.
I got out of the shower, put on my soccer warm-ups (since we have a game tonight), brushed out my tangled hair and began to dry it. While drying my hair, I noticed that most of my damp hair hung collectively in soaking sections, while random shorter pieces blew in all directions from the warm airstream that poured from the hair dryer. I looked at my reflection after I had finished brushing my hair back into a neat bun on the side of my head. The make-up residue from the day before was smudged under and above my eyes. I dabbed some make-up remover on a tissue and began to wipe away the remaining mascara and eye liner. When my face was bare, I just looked at myself. I saw something that wasn’t good enough. This was plain and boring. Lacking beauty.
I began the task of putting on my make-up for the day, without thinking much of it. I brushed my foundation on, my blush, lined my eyes with a black eye pencil, blended some brown eye shadows onto my lids, and painted my lashes with a few coats of mascara. After 5 to 8 minutes, I was ready to leave. I took a final glance into the mirror. I saw something that was finally good enough. It wasn’t plain or boring. It resembled beauty.
Today’s society has created this mirror for women and teenagers to stare into, which causes us to question our beauty. Today’s society has created this ideal persona, her inner beauty unseen. The tiny models in Glamour or Vogue/Teen Vogue and the beautiful actresses that are displayed on the big screen all have this beauty. This seemingly natural beauty is one that no “normal” girl can replicate. Why is what’s on the outside so important? Why can’t we look past the shell, into the beauty within?
Girls and women alike are created into these unattainable goddesses in Hollywood. I remember thinking recently, “Why can’t I look like her? Sing like her?” I can’t go out in public without looking presentable and I’m conscious of other people’s thoughts about me. Society has masked true beauty with the look on the outside and I find myself falling into the snare every morning. Where is beauty in a world full of ugly people? Now, when I say ugly, I mean ugly on the inside. Lacking true, inner beauty. Do you face the mirror of society or reflect into the beauty within yourself?
How many of the "50 Most Beautiful Female Celebrities" listed s are you willing to compare yourself to?
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/sns-50-most-beautiful-celebs-pictures,0,900787.photogallery
http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/sns-50-most-beautiful-celebs-pictures,0,900787.photogallery
customhomesandremodeling.net. 3 March, 2011.
Taylor, I love this so much! I often find myself thinking those same thoughts of insecurity. It's so sad that our culture makes us FEEL such awful things about ourselves! Thanks for being so honest!
ReplyDeleteYou make such a good point! I feel that all girls face this problem at some time or another, and I enjoyed reading your post. It was well written.
ReplyDelete"When my face was bare, I just looked at myself. I saw something that wasn’t good enough. This was plain and boring. Lacking beauty."
ReplyDeleteThat line right there pretty much sums up the day to life for some of us and it is amazing that you have been able to open up and let us know that you also feel vulnerable. (I actually don't know if that would the right word but I hope you know what I mean!)Tay your tone and style is so fluid and just fun to read.
Taylor, I adore you for posting this. But I admire you more for actually admitting that you struggle with this. Personally, I feel like the greater battle isn't so much not feeling good enough- it's the fact that we've allowed society to break us. Something I attempt to convince myself hasn't happened to me, though I know it has.
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I LOVE the way this was written. I had the same experience this morning. To be honest, I've always considered myself an ugly duckling. I've heard my whole life, "You're going to be a knockout someday." Well when is someday? I've found that simply complemeting someone, telling them they look beautiful today, can really mean a lot to someone, even if we don't know it.
ReplyDeleteYou're beautiful Taylor. :)